小品：“不差钱”（2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目） Got the Money Anyway（舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上?＃?(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.) Uncle Zhao? Here we are. 赵本山：到了。Yadar?????? Here we are. 毛毛：? 到了。Uncle Zhao? It#s the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情（tiáo qíng）。Yadar?????? You got it wrong –苏格兰情调！！ 毛毛：? 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调（qíng diào）。Uncle Zhao ?情调（qíng diào） All right, . We#re gonna have our meal here anyway. 赵本山：啊，情调？就搁这儿吃。Yadar?????? But it#s very expensive. 毛毛：? 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。Uncle Zhao? So what? We#ve got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where#s the bag?赵本山：贵？咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢？Yadar?????? What bag? 毛毛：? 我没拿包??Uncle Zhao? The yellow one with the money in it.赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。Yadar?????? Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛：? 完了，让我落炕上了。Uncle Zhao?oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you forget it! Any money left on you?赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗？！这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗？Yadar????? Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.毛毛：? 兜里，多少钱哪才？才70多块钱。Uncle Zhao? Here#s 400 more.赵本山：我还有400。行，够了。Yadar?????? Still not enough. 毛毛：? 这也不能够??Uncle Zhao? It’s ok. Waiter! 赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员！（小沈阳上）(Shenyang, the waiter, enters.) Shenyang?? Sorry, sir. We#re of high class here. We don#t take on stuff from street .小沈阳：对不起大爷，我们这是高档酒店，不收农副产品。Uncle Zhao? We#re your customers. Don#t we look like it? 赵本山：不是，我们是吃饭的。不像啊？(翻起衣服，露出衣服里面的百元大钞)Shenyang?? oh yeah yeah yeah …. 小沈阳：是的是的。。。。Uncle Zhao? this is an important meal here, miss.赵本山：我说姑娘啊，这顿饭非常重要。Shenyang I’m not a miss ,I’m a man ,a real man from the inside out. 小沈阳：妈呀，你管谁叫姑娘呢，人家是纯爷们。Shenyang? Uncle Zhao? Then, how can you wear in a skirt?赵本山：咋这么个打扮，还穿个裙子呢。Shenyang?? See, it#s no skirt but Capri pants .it#s men#s wear